Ep120: Gratitude Denied
Uh oh – someone tried to show gratitude to Eliot again! Let’s revisit an early episode of So Here’s My Story, where we talk about compliments, thanking someone, and all of the ways to drive Eliot crazy. (Bonus: we get to hear Jodi use Eliot’s full name in a chastising way!)
Why is that important for business?
As we have learned, Eliot enjoys sucking all of the joy out of compliments and acts of gratitude. And maybe you do too.
But here’s the thing:
Giving and receiving of any kind is a finely balance ecosystem. If I want to give something to you – a compliment or a favour or anything – you have to be willing to catch that ball, or it doesn’t work. It can’t be a one-sided exchange. There has to be someone on the other end of the seesaw.
When someone tells you that you are wrong about a compliment – “no, no, I’m not actually that good” – they are taking something that is yours. They don’t actually get to weigh in on what you think (and admire and appreciate) about them. There is a responsibility to recognize that you are wrecking something for someone else when you refuse to take a compliment.
You also can’t grow as a person or a company unless you are building on a solid foundation of what is working well.
And even if you can’t accept what you are good at, through someone else’s eyes, the least you can do is simply say “thank you”, so you don’t disrupt that ecosystem. This allows you to create space for the possibility that this might be true, and it allows you to create a foundation to build on.
It is an important practice to be able to be with both ends of real and authentic; to be able to take both genuine criticism and genuine compliments.
We are all hungry for that spotlight, but once we’re there, we deflect out of it as soon as possible. But if we can stop and take a breath in that space, and just say “thank you”, it can be an opportunity.
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