Have you ever received one of those messages from a friend from high school, who clearly just wants to sell you something? Or had someone try to jump 6 or 7 rungs on the intimacy ladder, just to do business? Let’s talk about when the attempt to create an add actually becomes a detract.  

Why is that important for business? 

“Happy birthday, Eliot, now give me your money!”

Although it’s not an exact quote, these kinds of emails happen. And they actually end up devaluing the sender. Like a celery is purported to have negative calories, this is a negative calorie birthday greeting, where they actually take away from your estimation of them. 

Social media especially makes it easy to simulate a relationship without actually forming one. Instead of forcing closeness, it might be more effective to create the start of closeness by being honest about the lack of closeness. But creating the veneer of a friendship where none exists borders on a violation, like someone crawling through a window you left ajar and joining you in your living room.  

The only place you can begin to grow a community is from exactly the place where you are right now. As is described in Tribal Leadership https://www.triballeadership.net/: people can only hear you one layer above or below where you are. You have to meet people where they are at and grow from there. Presuming you are on a level that you are not is when the add becomes a detract. 

What story do you want to tell?

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