Ep106: Business IS Personal

24 minutes

Ever fallen in business love and just assumed you will be working together forever? Typically, life just doesn’t work that way – employees and teammates come and go in our career, even when we wish they didn’t. And even though we might intellectually know this, it doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes react badly. 

Like so many of Eliot’s stories, this is one he isn’t proud of.

Why is that important for business? 

When you find that perfect person for a role in your business, it can be hard not to get carried away with what that means. We create a story of who and what they will be for us, and we think, somehow, it will be forever. 

And then one day it isn’t. And in that moment, when we feel hurt and abandoned, we don’t always behave in a way we are proud of. Whoever said, “it’s not personal, it’s just business” either never ran their own business or is just a moron. It’s all personal. 

This is such a common experience, yet it always comes with dollop of shame, and with the strong impulse to suppress the feelings. It can hurt to put your heart into someone and have them leave, but there is also a downside to not investing in people. As the saying goes: “what if you invest in people and they leave? What if you don’t and they stay?” 

Or, as they say in horse jumping, “throw your heart over and the horse will follow”. (This is what Jodi refers to as “the horse phrase”.)

The moment someone starts to think you doesn’t care personally, that it’s just business, is the point when they start considering leaving for any small reason. You have to invest personally if you want that personal investment back. But, as with all things, it is a risk. An incredibly worthy risk.

Ask yourself: “are you investing in your people in some perverse ways of imagining they are yours forever? Or are you investing in them for as long as the relationship is mutually beneficial, then seeing them go off in the world and being proud of your part in what they accomplish next? The latter is clearly the healthier approach, and yet - it’s okay to feel hurt, too. 

Think of the paper feeder in a printer. When you adjust the feeder, perhaps to print on an envelope, both sides move in tandem – you can’t move one side independently. Emotions work like that as well. You can’t avoid the yucky feelings without also avoiding the positive ones. You can’t selectively numb your emotions. So feel all of them. 

What story do you want to tell?

So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgroup


Shoot us an email: talktous@soheresmystory.com

Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast 

Text the word STORY to 345345 to get access to bonus content and weekly episode delivery.

Want to support us?

Love this podcast?

Please tell your friends, post about us, or take a moment to review us & subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast!

More episodes from So, Here's My Story...

Ep 226: Organizational Depressive State

Is your business in a rut? Is everyone showing up with “Non-Player Characters” energy? When you have an Organizational Depressive State, it can be hard to get out of it – or can it be as …

Ep225: Hoarding and Hermione

How do you strike the balance between keeping things that you might not ever need, and getting rid of things that you might regret not having?

Why is that important for business? 

Having …

Ep224: Do You Expect to Be Heard?

Do you expect to be heard? Or do you just assume that how things are is how they have to be?

Why is that important for business? 

Do you have a say or a voice? Do you expect to be heard? If …

Ep223: Tight Glutes & Communicating Needs

Like all good lessons about asking for what you need in business, this lesson starts in a massage parlor. 

Why is that important for business? 

You need to be aware of your needs (in …

Ep222: Wrestling with Adversity

When you find out you are riding with the descendent of a nationally acclaimed blind wrestler, you know you’re in for some stories. And it turns out, we can turn those stories into some …

Ep221: Replay - The Art of Finishing Well

We don't talk about endings enough, especially not ending things well, with as much celebration as we began them. And that is exactly what this episode is about.

Why is that important for …

How you can listen to this podcast

You can listen to episodes right here on the website, or if you prefer, in a podcast app. Listening in an app makes it easier to keep track of what you’ve already heard, listen without using your data plan and many other conveniences.

Recommended apps
Start listening to Ep 226: Organizational Depressive State
Start listening to Ep 226: Organizational Depressive State